


enduring fears

by letek



Category: Quantum Leap
Genre: Angst, Ficlet, M/M, Memories, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:02:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29817111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letek/pseuds/letek
Summary: Al tells Sam his greatest fear.
Relationships: Sam Beckett & Al Calavicci, Sam Beckett/Al Calavicci
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	enduring fears

_“What’s your biggest fear?”_

_Al looked over to Sam, whose entire upper body was resting on his desk, arms splayed out over the numerous files and half-written pages of equations that laid upon it. Sam’s head rested against his upper arm and he turned it to face Al._

_Al thought about his fears for a moment and he wondered why Sam was getting so deep out of nowhere. Well, two o’clock in the morning tended to have that effect on people._

_“_ _Uh_ _, spiders,” Al finally replied nonchalantly._

_“No, I’m serious, Al.”_

_“So am I. I can’t stand those things.”_

_Sam narrowed his eyes at him. Al never felt comfortable under the scrutinizing eyes of Dr. Sam Beckett. And Sam knew that, too. So, Al figured he’d turn the question on Sam, “What are you afraid of?”_

_Al turned his desk chair to face Sam and put his feet up on his desk._

_Sam shrugged, “Well, since you said spiders, I’ll say heights.”_

_Al was surprised, Sam didn’t seem the type, “You’re afraid of heights?”_

_Sam nodded, “Since I was nine.”_

_Al thought this could lead to an interesting story, “Okay, what happened when you were nine?”_

_“Tarzan.”_

_Al chuckled, “Well, now you’ve piqued my interest. Please, tell me more about how Tarzan contributed to your deep-seated fear of heights.” Al picked a notepad and pen off of his desk and pretended to begin taking notes like a psychologist._

_Sam shook his head and laughed as he scooted his chair closer to Al’s desk, “The Tarzan movie had just come out and Tommy took me to see it. When we got home, we thought it would be fun to pretend to be Tarzan. So, we tied a rope to a beam on the ceiling of the barn and swung out from the loft.”_

_“Sounds dangerous.”_

_“Well, it was. After a while, the knot started to loosen. So, Tom sent me up there to tighten it. After I climbed all the way up to the top and looked down, I froze. I just couldn’t move. I really thought I was_ _gonna_ _die up there.”_

 _Al shook his head, “Terribly traumatic for a kid.”_

_“Well, I turned out fine.”_

_“Depends on who_ _ya_ _ask,” Al shrugged and tried to suppress his smirk._

_Sam picked a thick file up from Al’s desk and hit him with it._

_“Hey, hey,” Al leaned away from Sam, “those are important documents in there. Don’t fuck ‘_ _em_ _up or_ _Ziggy’ll_ _have your head.”_

_Sam set the folder back down and shook his head, smiling._

_After a few moments of silence, Sam spoke, “I know you think you’re masterful at derailing a conversation in another direction but you’re not that good, Al. You never answered my question.”_

_“Yes, I did,” Al immediately retorted. “I said spiders.”_

_Sam looked into Al’s eyes in the way he always did when he was serious, “I know spiders aren’t your greatest fear, just like you know that heights isn’t mine.”_

_Al sighed. Sam was stubborn, like him. It’s not that he didn’t want to tell Sam this aspect of himself. It’s just that he wasn’t expecting to confront it tonight._

_Al took a deep breath. “I’m afraid of,” he paused and shrugged his shoulders, “being abandoned.”_

_Sam looked at him with his soft, brown eyes and then finally spoke after a few moments, “You’ve dealt with that a lot in your life.”_

_Al nodded, “First my mother, then my father.” Al got lost in his thoughts for a couple seconds, thinking of what could’ve been- in a perfect universe. “Then Trudy, though that wasn’t her fault,” he added._

_Al sighed, “And Beth.” He looked down at his hands and picked at a small scab, “You’d think that since it’s happened so many times that I would be used to it by now... It’s never gotten any easier.”_

_“Well, I don’t know if it’ll help to soothe your anxiety but I promise I’ll never abandon you, Al.”_

_Al looked up and saw the complete honesty and genuineness radiating from Sam’s features. He_ _smiled. If Al could count on one person to always be by his side, he was happy it was Sam._

_“You know what? It does actually. Thanks, kid.”_

“God, has it really been a year already?” 

Al snapped out of his reverie after realizing that Verbena had just asked him a question. 

“Hm?” 

“Has Sam really been gone for a year?” 

“Oh. Uh yeah, I guess he has.” 

Verbena shook her head, “I never thought he would’ve been away for so long.” 

Al nodded solemnly, a particular memory of a past conversation fresh in his mind. “Neither did he.” 

**Author's Note:**

> in the season 2 episode "leaping in without a net" al remembers very specific details about sam's fear of heights and i thought that was pretty gay. so i decided to write about how al could've come to know that information about sam and then i had to add in a little al angst for good measure


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